Quarterlife | Jotup

Friend breakups: why they can sometimes feel as bad as falling out of love

Retrieved on:

Giovedì, Aprile 18, 2024

Research, Depression, Friends, Marriage, Woman, Caregiver, Shock, Tongue, Mental health, Learning, Anxiety, Life, Quarterlife, Pain, Language, Optimism, Rib, Family, Emotion, Parent, Nightclub

Though we tend to think of bad breakups as the end of romantic relationships, losing a friend – especially one who has been close to you – can be just as hard.

Key Points:

Though we tend to think of bad breakups as the end of romantic relationships, losing a friend – especially one who has been close to you – can be just as hard.
In a recent session of a personal development group I run, several participants in their 20s and 30s got talking about being dumped by a friend.
Most thought things were okay, then received a long text in which the friend explained they were unhappy and wanted no further contract.
This is part of our genetic design, readying us to grow up and build adult lives independent of our parents.

This article is part of Quarter Life, a series about issues affecting those of us in our 20s and 30s.
The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
Research shows that the most common method of ending a friendship is by avoidance – not addressing the issues involved.

Why friendships break up

A serious romantic relationship or starting a family means the time and focus given to the friendship will naturally decrease.
Friendships don’t have to end over changes like this, if you can try to empathise with what your friend is going through rather than judging them or taking it personally.
Long friendships will naturally go through fluctuations, so it’s normal if sometimes you feel closer and other times further apart.

This can cause your feelings of closeness to suffer.
Even worse, the friend could try to make you feel bad about yourself – guilt-tripping you for developing other relationships or interests.

How to cope

You can help yourself get through such waves by practising diaphragmatic breathing, which is evidenced to reduce stress.
Discussing the situation with someone else can help, and might allow you to see what you can learn from it.
When coping with any type of breakup, traits of resilience (optimism, self-esteem and grit) will help you adapt.

Sonja Falck does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Social media will tell you birth control causes mental health issues, weight gain and infertility – here are the facts

Retrieved on:

Martedì, Aprile 9, 2024

Some women are reportedly even stopping their birth control as a result of misleading posts they’ve seen on TikTok and Instagram.

Key Points:

Some women are reportedly even stopping their birth control as a result of misleading posts they’ve seen on TikTok and Instagram.
These three common misconceptions about birth control are cropping up online and need to be put in context:

1. Contraception causes depression

Countless videos on social media discuss the effect hormonal contraceptives have on mental health – with some creators claiming birth control causes mood changes and even depression.
Although there’s some correlation between mental health and some forms of contraception, there are many factors at play.

The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
The evidence suggests depression is more common in adolescent girls – and diminishes after the first two years of taking these forms of birth control.
At present, there’s little conclusive evidence that contraception (both hormonal and non-hormonal types) cause mental health problems.

2. Contraception causes weight gain

Another common social media claim is that birth control causes weight gain.
There is one form of contraception that is linked to weight gain.
The Depo-Provera injection, which is administered every 12 weeks, has been proved to cause weight gain.

This weight gain may be due to the progesterone in the shot, which can cause people to feel hungrier – potentially leading to overeating and weight gain. If you’re concerned about potential weight gain, the injection is not the only form of contraception available. Other forms of hormonal and non-hormonal contraceptives have not been shown to affect your weight.

3. Birth control lowers your fertility

Another common claim on social media is that birth control causes fertility issues.
Research shows hormonal contraceptives have no affect on fertility.
Again, evidence shows that IUDs pose no risk to fertility.
A systematic review reports no specific differences in fertility between hormonal and non-hormonal IUDs.

Christopher O'Sullivan does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Why losing a parent when you’re a young adult is so hard

Retrieved on:

Venerdì, Aprile 5, 2024

Research, Mother, Friends, Grief, Disagreement, Shock, Mental health, Child, Death, Life, Quarterlife, Loneliness, Organic, Woman, Rupture, Love, Guilt, Family, Parent, Toy

Although the grief of parentally bereaved children and adolescents is widely recognised by charities and in media, people in their twenties and thirties can be overlooked.

Key Points:

Although the grief of parentally bereaved children and adolescents is widely recognised by charities and in media, people in their twenties and thirties can be overlooked.
Research shows that many in this age group experience emotional and behavioural issues after losing a parent.
If they die young when we are still young, it comes as a shock.

The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
We know that the grief for a lost spouse is generally worse than the death of a parent.
All of this will be harder if you know that back home, your parent is seriously ill or has suddenly died.

Changing circumstances

Their bond will still be strong and the family unit with mum and dad will be part of everyday life.
Should one of them die, certainties and assumptions about support networks and family life are shattered.
Your gender, role in the family and cultural background may also affect how you grieve the loss of a parent.
I have also counselled newly bereaved widows whose eldest sons tried to become the protector, even at an early age.

Lost role models

You’re putting up shelves, or cooking a new recipe, but there is nobody to phone home to get advice when it goes pear-shaped.
Many young mothers who had previously coped with losing their own mother, first come to bereavement counselling when they become mothers themselves.
I have worked with many adults whose grief has been complicated by guilt at not patching up the relationship before it was too late.

Learning to cope

What did they teach us about life – purposely or by example?
Whatever your age, remember that grief is an intensely personal experience, and no two people grieve the same.

John Frederick Wilson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

A beginner’s guide to the taxes you’ll hear about this election season

Retrieved on:

Mercoledì, Marzo 13, 2024

Social media, Mental health, Tax, Friends, Etsy, Government, Life, NHS, Income tax, School, Quarterlife, EBay, Family, Workforce, Housing, Book, Life insurance

If you’ve recently entered the workforce or the housing market, you may still be wrapping your mind around all of these terms.

Key Points:

If you’ve recently entered the workforce or the housing market, you may still be wrapping your mind around all of these terms.
Here is what you need to know about the different types of taxes and how they affect you.
When you earn money If you are an employee or own a business, taxes are deducted from your salary or profits you make.
If you are self-employed, you will have to pay your taxes via an annual tax return assessment.

The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
The government collects taxes from all sources and sets its spending plans accordingly, borrowing to make up any difference between the two.

Income tax

The amount of income tax you pay is determined by where your income sits in a series of “bands” set by the government.
Almost everyone is entitled to a “personal allowance”, currently £12,570, which you can earn without needing to pay any income tax.
You then pay 20% in tax on each pound of income you earn (across all sources) from £12,570-£50,270.

National insurance

National insurance contributions (NICs) are a second “tax” you pay on your income – or to be precise, on your earned income (your salary).
While Jeremy Hunt, the current chancellor of the exchequer, didn’t adjust income tax meaningfully in this year’s budget, he did announce a cut to NICs.
This was a surprise to many, as we had already seen rates fall from 12% to 10% on incomes higher than £242/week in January.

Other taxes

Wealth taxes may be in line for a change.
In the budget, the chancellor reduced capital gains taxes on sales of assets such as second properties (from 28% to 24%).
There are calls from many quarters though to look again at these types of taxes.

Andy Lymer and his colleagues at the Centre for Personal Financial Wellbeing at Aston University currently or have recently received funding for their research work from a variety of funding bodies including the UK's Money and Pension Service, the Aviva Foundation, Fair4All Finance, NEST Insight, the Gambling Commission, Vivid Housing and the ESRC, amongst others.

I’ve researched Clara Bow – it’s no wonder the actress inspired Taylor Swift’s new album

Retrieved on:

Giovedì, Febbraio 15, 2024

Moments later, Swift uploaded full details of her new record to Instagram, including the album artwork and track list.

Key Points:

Moments later, Swift uploaded full details of her new record to Instagram, including the album artwork and track list.
One of the 17 newly revealed tracks is titled Clara Bow.
Actress Clara Bow (1905-1965) was the original “It girl”.

This article is part of Quarter Life, a series about issues affecting those of us in our twenties and thirties.
The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
Twitter users called her “disgusting” for bringing her friend and collaborator Lana Del Rey on stage, after she’d lost out on her own award.

Who was Clara Bow?

Clara Bow was an American silent and early sound film actress, whose tumultuous career spanned from 1922 to 1933.
Bow’s best-known film, the 1926 silent romantic comedy It, secured her status as a cultural icon who embodied the youth and liberation of the 1920s’ flapper.
This sequence of events, which kick-started the ongoing mythicisation of Bow’s star image, skips over the work Bow herself put in.

How Clara Bow inspired Taylor Swift

During the height of her career, Bow’s love life was a point of constant ridicule in popular film fan magazines. Headlines branding her “empty hearted” and asking “why can’t the It Girl keep her men?” sought to psychoanalyse her broken engagements. The press labelled Bow an “idiot”, and wondered why “no man [had] led her to the altar”.

Bow’s assistant and best friend, Daisy DeVoe, was accused of trying to embezzle money from her.
During my research trip, I was able to access the papers of Clara Bow, as well as those who knew her: including notable gossip columnist Hedda Hopper.
Perhaps Swift’s ode to Bow will offer some artistic justice for the often-misrepresented starlet.
But it’s not hard to see why Taylor Swift, a modern starlet whose every move is scrutinised and criticised, would find a rich seam of inspiration in the life of Clara Bow.

The problems with dating apps and how they could be fixed – two relationship ethicists

Retrieved on:

Martedì, Febbraio 13, 2024

Online, Love, Internet, Mental health, Woman, University, Friends, Work, Female, Language, Life, LGB, Safety, Attention, Element, Judgement, Fatigue, Family, Quarterlife, Male, Tinder, Spotify, Research, Online shopping

Dating sites and apps have made it easier to find sexual and romantic partners, expanding the pool of potential mates to include the entire internet.

Key Points:

Dating sites and apps have made it easier to find sexual and romantic partners, expanding the pool of potential mates to include the entire internet.
Before dating apps, many people met partners through family, friends or work, which meant that potential partners were often “vetted” by people we trusted.
There are even dating apps exclusive to people with certain political views.

The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
Apps are designed carefully to hold your attention using elements and rewards that make using them feel like playing a game.
Finally, dating apps encourage users to objectify each other through rapid judgment based on appearance.
From rapid swiping with little information beyond a picture on apps like Tinder, to Grindr’s grid of torsos, dating apps make it easy to dismiss with a glance.

Can dating apps be better?

Our continuing exploration of these topics has convinced us that the people who design dating apps could do more to improve the experience for users.
This is why, at the Centre for Love, Sex, and Relationships at the University of Leeds, we are also launching a new research project on ethical dating online to explore how apps can become a better experience for everyone.

Dating apps could give users more information about their preferences and behaviour.
Finally, apps can “nudge” users towards more ethical behaviour, encouraging them not to ghost someone, for example, or enforcing a cooling-off period for serial swipers.
While this might feel intrusive, remember that dating apps are already doing this – for example, sending notifications encouraging you to check the app regularly.

Be a better dating app user

There are also steps you can take to interact more ethically on dating apps.
In short, remember that online dating is not just a game, even if it feels like one, and that the images on your phone are – usually – of real people.

The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

How to write a love song – three tips for beginners from a songwriting expert

Retrieved on:

Venerdì, Febbraio 9, 2024

Sunlight, Happiness, Noise, Family, Life, Good Day Sunshine, Mental health, Quarterlife, Friends, Fertility, The King Blues, Research, Sheeran, Music, Female

In fact, research in 2017 found that “love” has been the most common theme for pop song lyrics in every decade since the 1960s.

Key Points:

In fact, research in 2017 found that “love” has been the most common theme for pop song lyrics in every decade since the 1960s.
If you’re trying to write a love song for the first time, you might not know where to begin, or cringe at the thought of being schmaltzy.

The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
The likes of Billie Eilish, Avril Lavigne, Mike Love, Lou Reed, Chuck Berry, The Ramones, and dozens of others all releasing songs simply titled: I Love You.
Here are my top tips for making your own love song special.

1. Ensure it’s accessible

As it is, most successful love songs draw on the same tropes over and over.
If a listener doesn’t have to work too hard, you could be on to a winner.

2. Keep it simple and familiar

This suggests that when it comes to love songs, we’re drawn to something we’re already familiar with.
Most popular love songs have discernible introductions, verses, choruses and bridge sections.

3. Make your lyrics relatable

As such, it is important that we can relate love songs we listen to our own experiences.
But if you want to write a song for that special someone, try to add a smattering of personal details.

Looking for something good? Cut through the noise with a carefully curated selection of the latest releases, live events and exhibitions, straight to your inbox every fortnight, on Fridays. Sign up here.
Glenn Fosbraey does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Why you might start to hate the influencers you once loved

Retrieved on:

Venerdì, Febbraio 9, 2024

People are increasingly turning to gossip forums like Tattle Life, Guru Gossip, GOMI (“Get Off My Internets”) and the Blogsnark subreddit to critique the influencers they follow.

Key Points:

People are increasingly turning to gossip forums like Tattle Life, Guru Gossip, GOMI (“Get Off My Internets”) and the Blogsnark subreddit to critique the influencers they follow.
Many forum users are former fans of the influencers they now publicly and enthusiastically criticise.
So why might you start to hate the influencers you once loved?

This article is part of Quarter Life, a series about issues affecting those of us in our twenties and thirties.
The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
Favourite influencers can often feel like friends, even though they are likely unaware of their followers’ existence.

Feeling excluded

This can shatter the illusion of intimacy, prompting anger from followers who feel entitled to omitted information.
When we feel excluded by an influencer, our feelings can become increasingly hostile.
Our findings indicate that gossip forums enable users to overcome feelings of exclusion by recreating the illusion that they know the influencer intimately.

Feeling ignored

Many influencers also delete comments and block comments containing certain keywords.
This leads some followers to feel ignored.
She never replies, says thank you or even just acknowledges them with the little heart/thumbs up button.
Our data indicates that posting on gossip forums can help followers feel seen and acknowledged by influencers in a way that they don’t outside of the forums.

Feeling exploited

Followers can feel exploited when influencers only post content with a direct commercial gain.
Retaliating in this way enabled forum members to alleviate feelings of being exploited.
Gossip forum users are often dismissed as trolls and bullies, but this doesn’t paint a complete picture.

Looking for something good? Cut through the noise with a carefully curated selection of the latest releases, live events and exhibitions, straight to your inbox every fortnight, on Fridays. Sign up here.
Rebecca Mardon receives funding from the Academy of Marketing Hayley Cocker and Kate Daunt do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

‘Digitising’ your wardrobe can help you save money and make sustainable fashion choices

Retrieved on:

Mercoledì, Febbraio 7, 2024

Anxiety, Clothing, Family, Life, Research, Housing, Climate change, Quarterlife, Food, Shoe, Friends, Social media, Mental health, Health, Woman, Online shopping

Taking stock and having a bit of a declutter can freshen things up domestically.

Key Points:

Taking stock and having a bit of a declutter can freshen things up domestically.
One popular new way of doing this involves targeting your wardrobe by making digital inventories of your clothes – and then tracking what you wear.
The idea is that having this information can then lead to better choices in the future, whether that’s saving money or having a more sustainable approach to fashion.

The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
For our research, we worked with Save Your Wardrobe, an app designed to help people organise and categorise their clothes.
From the start, we found consumers feeling anxious and dissatisfied with their clothing behaviours and wardrobe management.

Make do and mend

For many, the initial process of organisation required to upload photos of garments to the app became a moment of reflection and an opportunity to challenge and change existing patterns of behaviour. The effort involved also resulted in a sense of appreciation of the clothing which was already owned.

One said: “I realised that 50% of my wardrobe is from Primark.
Items were rediscovered and brought back into use in a way that made owners feel they were “shopping from their own wardrobes”.
Tracking data about their behaviour gave consumers a sense of being more in control of their actions and where they could make changes.
Being more aware of the clothes they already owned made a difference to people’s appetites for owning more.

Deirdre Shaw receives funding from ESRC. She is affiliated with Textiles 2030. Katherine Duffy receives funding from ESRC. She is affiliated with Textiles 2030.

Spotify daylist: algorithms don’t just react to your music taste, they shape it

Retrieved on:

Martedì, Febbraio 6, 2024

Attention, Knowledge, Family, Travel, Life, Taste, Vacuum, Research, Quarterlife, Music, Friends, Radio, Fear of missing out, Mental health, Learning, Culture, Algorithm

Today’s selection has the slightly strange – and yet very specific – title “lo-fi anti-folk wednesday early morning”.

Key Points:

Today’s selection has the slightly strange – and yet very specific – title “lo-fi anti-folk wednesday early morning”.
We are familiar with algorithms on tech platforms choosing music, TV, products or even travel destinations for us.

The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
For many people, our music choices have gone from being informed by radio, music press, magazines and TV shows, to a fine-grained level of personalisation.

Predicting – and changing – tastes

Streaming platforms in general have the data about us, but they also have the data about everyone streaming on that platform.
Research has shown that the focus isn’t necessarily upon accurately predicting taste, but on trying to predict things like attention or engagment in its place.
When we imagine our tastes, we assume there is a starting point.
We imagine that our tastes exist and that these algorithmic systems are learning to respond to them.

A recursive society

It is through constant exposure to these personalised predictions that our taste itself mutates in response to what we are exposed to.
In a recursive society we are surrounded by repeated analytic and algorithmic processes that have continued over a significant period.
The result is that society and our individual experiences are a product of recursive processes in which the automated analysis of data shapes and impacts the choices we make and the choices made about us.

We can’t separate music taste from the algorithms.
Even if you stopped using streaming platforms and their recommendations today, they have influenced you.
You may not remember a time before you consumed music and other culture through streaming platforms.

Daylists and our identities

If algorithmic systems are shaping our tastes, they are also shaping how we understand ourselves.
Spotify daylists tell us something about how our tastes are being anticipated in ways that keep us using these systems.

David Beer does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.