Waterstones

• Words like childless or childfree firmly place the person without a child as the one lacking.
• Women who decide not to have children are marked as outsiders by our social and cultural norms.
• The ‘childless woman’ and the ‘mother’ are a false polarity, which has served the institutions both of motherhood and heterosexuality.
• The idealisation of motherhood undermines all women, irrespective of their own choices, as I write in my book (M)otherhood: On the choices of being a woman.

Decisions and regret

Often, discussions about having a child are shaped in terms of regret. What if you regret it and it is too late? What if you change your mind and it is too late?

• This was followed up with another study, published later in 2023, which looked more deeply at people who are childfree by choice.
• Turns out they’re pretty happy with their decisions.
• On the other hand, studies have shown that people who have children are more likely to regret this choice.
• In 2021, a survey by YouGov of over 1,200 British parents found that 8% say they currently regret having children.
• While we might believe that we are perfectly autonomous and free to make our decisions at will, we are never free of our societal and cultural context.

Pragya Agarwal does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.