Why losing a parent when you’re a young adult is so hard

• Although the grief of parentally bereaved children and adolescents is widely recognised by charities and in media, people in their twenties and thirties can be overlooked.
• Research shows that many in this age group experience emotional and behavioural issues after losing a parent.
• If they die young when we are still young, it comes as a shock.

• The articles in this series explore the questions and bring answers as we navigate this turbulent period of life.
• We know that the grief for a lost spouse is generally worse than the death of a parent.
• All of this will be harder if you know that back home, your parent is seriously ill or has suddenly died.

Changing circumstances

• Their bond will still be strong and the family unit with mum and dad will be part of everyday life.
• Should one of them die, certainties and assumptions about support networks and family life are shattered.
• Your gender, role in the family and cultural background may also affect how you grieve the loss of a parent.
• I have also counselled newly bereaved widows whose eldest sons tried to become the protector, even at an early age.

Lost role models

• You’re putting up shelves, or cooking a new recipe, but there is nobody to phone home to get advice when it goes pear-shaped.
• Many young mothers who had previously coped with losing their own mother, first come to bereavement counselling when they become mothers themselves.
• I have worked with many adults whose grief has been complicated by guilt at not patching up the relationship before it was too late.

Learning to cope

• What did they teach us about life – purposely or by example?
• Whatever your age, remember that grief is an intensely personal experience, and no two people grieve the same.

John Frederick Wilson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.